Never in my life have I felt more beautiful or more afraid.
My 25 week doctor’s appointment came and went. I was disappointed to find that the doctor did very little other than measure my bump and tell me that the baby was measuring very large and that I’d probably need a growth scan later on. At 5 ft 2 and with a petite frame, I didn’t exactly welcome this news but it did explain why everyone kept asking if I was just about due!
One would think that on approaching the third trimester, with the baby gaining a better chance of survival with every day that passes, the worries would subside. Wrong!
By this stage you love your baby so deeply that you obsess about every detail of your body’s functioning.
With every little unexpected cause for potential concern, one is faced with the ultimate question – to Google or not to Google? I’ve probably internet searched over a hundred different anomalies since the pregnancy began.
The web is filled with questions from equally worried women along the lines of ‘I’m X weeks pregnant and experiencing Y… IS THIS NORMAL?’
Like many others, I’m reluctant to phone the midwife, afraid of becoming ‘that paranoid IVF woman again’, so I’ve found the forum messages comforting. Whatever you’re experiencing, it’s almost guaranteed that a whole bunch of women have experienced the same thing. I usually phone the midwife anyway but it’s always good to know that others have gone through it and everything has turned out ok.
I have been to A&E three times this week and finally, after an internal examination, discovered the problem – cervical ectropion (essentially, a changing of the cells of the cervix and a common cause of bleeding in late pregnancy). The condition is fortunately harmless but the last few days have escalated my worries and undermined the confidence I’ve felt throughout the second trimester.
The words of my dear friend, who has just had a beautiful baby girl, continue to be of great comfort: “It’s amazing just how many strange bodily occurrences turn out to be perfectly normal in pregnancy.”